Grinch Sniping

Christmas ain't what it was when I was a kid.
Nothing is what it was when I was a kid.
I used to run around in the woods  all summer in my underpants catching frogs and wrestling my siblings. We would be arrested for that at this point. And probably become Youtube sensations.

When I was a kid Christmas was a little magical.
I went to bed one night and woke up to a 20 foot Christmas tree in my living room that Dad and Uncle Howie got drunk and cut down and dragged through the woods. We once hosted 40 people for dinner. I imagine that was less magical for my mother, but I digress.

So when you're a kid Christmas is a magic thing.
But when you get bigger it can kinda suck. There's a lot of pressure and possibly alot of expense and you have to drive in the crap weather. And then there are the hipster Grinch types.

People who are struggling as much as anyone else with the holidays and all they encompass, but feel free to share the misery.

The irony that I  am doing the same thing right now is not lost on me. However, this is my blog and you don't have to read it. Don't let the door hit ya on the butt on the way out.

Here are some of my favourite gripes from Grinches and my response to them. One day I'll do a blog post that isn't a list. Today isn't that day y'all.

"Let's keep the Christ in Christmas"
Yes, Christmas is a Christian Holiday. Placed right over top of the Pagan holiday, next to the Jewish holiday.
So for all intents and purposes this is indeed a HOLIDAY SEASON. If you would prefer to wish people a Merry Christmas, please do.  Ain't nobody stopping you. Wish them a happy Yule? Your call. Happy Hanukkah is cool too. Don't like any of those? There's always Festivus for the Rest of us.  But for the love of all that is holy please don't pull on your victim hat and say other cultures are trying to subvert your holiday. And stay the hell off of my Facebook page while you're doing it.

Christmas is too commericalized
Yes, corporations make some fine cash off of the holiday season. Black Friday is so named because companies sell enough that day to put their books in the black. Were you going to go ahead and make your gifts? Cause that would rock. Got some awesome wood carving skills do ya? Able to paint? Cool.
The reality is that at this time in our culture most of the goods we buy are from corporations. You ain't griping all year long when you wander the aisles of walmart but come Dec 1st everybody is a social responsibility crusader.
Don't misunderstand, I try to shop local as much as I can. But I make a challenge out of it. "what can I buy from a local vendor that would be of use to my recipient?" Sometimes it's not possible. So I suck it up and go to Walmart. And I shut up about it.

We spend too much on toys the kids don't need
Kids don't need most of the toys they have. True Story. So don't buy your kids toys. We used to get one big family gift (remember the first Nintendo? DUCK HUNT) then some stuff individually. There were plenty of books, and art supplies and outside toys like shovels and clothes. And we loved it.

Everybody is miserable during the Holidays. Suicides go up
Ah yuh. People are miserable. There's no sun. It's cold. Its dark. Wouldn't this be a great time of year to have some time set aside for sitting around eating and drinking and giving each other thoughtful little gifts and singing songs and decorating the cave? Might be a great idea. Lets do that.

The holidays to me represent a chance to do several things.

Think about the people you love:
It's a gift giving time.  What could the people you love have use for? What would make them smile? Last year I bought every body composters for their kitchens with charcoal filters to keep the smell down. Big hit.
What can you do to make the lives of those you love easier? Ima do all the cookies this year thanks to a cookie exchange.

Celebrate what you have:
I've said it before and I'll say it again. Us Canadians have it pretty frigging decent compared to some places in the world. Maybe we could stand around being happy for what we have instead of bitching bout what we don't .

Act Charitably:
It's the giving season and while we have it good here there is always  room for giving. So put some money in a Salvation Army Kettle, buy a toy for the toy drive. Shovel your neighbour's walk. Take cookies to a shut in. The list is endless.

Be with the people you love:
So we're eating and drinking together, maybe while we're doing some festivities we take the time to really talk to those around us. I mean, we're gonna be here all night. Right? Ask how some one is doing...then shut up and listen. Listen like listening...not waiting for your opportunity to talk.

Reflect on the year
This may be more of a New Year's thing...but it's never too early to start reflecting  and possibly setting goals.

Wear a stupid hat and sing really loud:
This never gets old and there are too few opportunities to do this in a socially acceptable manner. And you're not too cool to do it. I promise. Trust me.

The Mother blog.

There is an old adage. It's "country wisdom" mainly. It says "do not get between a mother bear and her cubs".
Because a bear is a dangerous creature but a mother bear will eat your liver and like it.
Not because she's a bear, because she's a mother.
I have seen this in action in more than just bears.

I have seen a woman with a high school education (admittedly by chance only, she shoulda been in university) educate herself on  genetics  to better communicate with doctors about her child. Genetics is not Sesame street boys and girls, it's heavy stuff. But she's a mother so stand back.
She has a blog:

http://cleverlydisguisedascake.blogspot.ca/2012/03/defining-normal_25.html

I have seen my sister, in kidney and liver failure in ICU fighting off anxiolytics and nurses cause somebody took her baby and she wanted him back. Now.

I have seen my mother threaten the life of the third grade teacher who hit me with a ruler till I had welts. And that woman was scared. If she didn't know Jesus before this incident I'm betting she found him soon after.

I have never seen my sister in law have to go nuts over her boys....but I would back her  in a fight against a fully grown man any day of the week. For reals.

Mothers stay up all night and go to work the next day. Mothers lift cars and run into burning buildings and wear macaroni necklaces to board meetings. 

There are genetic and neuro chemical reasons for the overwhelming dedication of motherhood. We don't need to go into that. It's boring. 

What my point is (and I promise there is one Internet) is that with all this genetic / neuro chemical / mother bear business floating around there are some women who don't do the job. Not even a little.

And I find this confusing. To a dizzying extent. 

What is it that would compel a woman to leave her child, unless the child would be safer? What compels women to hurt their children? Sell them? Neglect them? Kill them?

And to be clear, I'm not talking about leaving your kids to go away for the weekend. I'm talking about abandoning them, leaving toddlers to their own devices. Buying drugs instead of food. Ignoring illnesses.

I don't pretend to understand. I spend some time thanking the Creator of All that Is that I don't understand. 

I don't have kids. I have nephews. So maybe I'm not qualified to even wonder about mothers who don't look after their babies. But I am still wondering. 

I think these women who don't look after their babies must be broken. Deep down broken. 

I can't decide whether to feel sorrier for the mothers or the babies. 

Maybe I won't decide. 

Maybe I'll just hug the babies I know and be grateful for the mothers we have. 

Wanty want want. Yes indeedy.

It occurred to me the other day that I have been doing mostly posts that are kinda thinky. Like serious stuff. Heavy Emotional and thoughtful things are good, but I've only got one blog post that's kinda fun. Insufficient fun sucks.
So in this vein, Ima do a blog post about totally trivial stuff that I want. Just random crap that I would love to own and or do that may never happen. But hey. It's nice to dream.

Shoes n stuff.
I like shoes. I really really do. I like pretty shoes and pretty boots and fancy shoes and good runners. Also apparently I like expensive shoes. Who knew?

I want these:
 
These are a $2999.00 pair of Christian Louboutain  boots. I love em.

And these:

These are $995 from Christian Louboutain as well, le Sigh.

But it's not all shoes y'all I also really really really want this:

 For the bargain price of $16k. No kidding.

Ok, back to reality a little bit...cause really. If I spent $16K on a purse, I'd have to kick my own butt!

I also want to go here:

With these people:

And not just because they have this:

They've been gone since June and it's now November and nobody has spoken to me in Afrikaans in all that time.  And I miss the cats. Yeah, that's right...the cats.

Also, I'm pretty sure it's time for this chick to have some sort of vacation. 

You know that thing where you don't go to work for a while, But instead you go and do stuff that's fun. I've heard it's allll the rage. And since it's all the rage, and these guys are doing it, I should do "vacation" with people who know how.

And these guys know how:

 http://timeandtidetravels.blogspot.ca/

Mostly if I want a vacation I have to wait till somebody is available to go with me. Since going places  alone on vacation kinda would suck and people are very busy. I don't go much.

But if for some reason the boat thing doesn't work...I might scoot down here:

 To visit some cousins and my Aunti and Uncle and go here:

And here:

 and no doubt be the butt of many a Canadian joke. S'ok. I'm used to it!

In the meantime though....I'm going to settle for this:

and then after work, this:

No more "Naughty Nurses", For the love of GOD!

I've got a bit of a bee in my bonnet about this. No kidding.
The other day a local strip club burned down. Sorta random, but ok. On my twitter feed a man made the joke that unemployment rates for local single mothers and nursing students had gone up in relation to this event.
Seriously? Seriously.
Another man joined in and hardy hars were had all around.
I, of course questioned the first man: "What are you saying?"
 To which I got no reply other than another independent tweet from the first man  that he was cheeky and incorrigible.
Um, ok.
I'm a little bothered  becauseI know both of these men. I  have had conversations with them, they know me. They know I'm a Nurse. They still think this nonsense is funny.
So I was kinda chapped about the whole thing.
But I'm a thinker. I do alot of thinking. Sometimes when I ought to be sleeping.
What exactly is my problem here?
What do I care? It's two dudes on twitter making a lame joke about a strip club.
So. What?
Ok, first of all here's what my problem is NOT. Its not about sexuality. It's part of the human experience and quite frankly too often over looked  in North American culture. It's seen as dirty and to be hushed up. As a wise friend of mine once stated "We're MADE for it!! We should be doing it ALLL the time". No disagreement on that point. People would be healthier and happier if they had more sex. Ask the Dutch People. So my problem is not with the strippers.
My problem is with Nursing stereotypes in general. Which is what the joke about strippers looked like to me.
Stereotypes, turn people into soundbites. They leave no room for thoughtful consideration and if taken to the extreme keep us from experiencing  the world at large. So sayeth me.
Nursing stereotypes are particularly viscous, I find. Let's look at the biggest ones..

Angels of Mercy
Considering  Nurses as tireless, perfect angels of mercy does not leave room for our humanity. Nursing is hard, emotionally draining work.  This stereotype does not encourage Nurses to leave room in their practice for self care. This practise of self care is lacking in many nurse's practises I find. I, personally have trouble with this. I also wonder if it doesn't contribute to the issues of burnout and nurse error.

Servants of the DOCTOR
Now, this may have been true in the 1800's but the times they are a changing. We are currently a group of highly trained highly skilled professionals.  Unfortunately not everybody gets the memo. Nurses today not only work in concert with doctors we many times will direct the care. We ARE the boots on the ground. We are the eyes and ears and sometimes the brains of the operation. We trouble shoot, observe, consider options, assess treatments, suggest new treatments, reassess the outcomes, report and collaborate. The idea that we have no clinical judgement is erroneous and ignorant. It's what we do! Doctors  don't observe you  post op for signs you're in trouble. Nurses do. Doctors don't implement your plan of care. Nurses do. Doctors don't design your wound healing  protocol. Nurses do.  No nurse I know has the time to follow a Doc around being his or her servant.
Please don't misunderstand. Doctors are fantastic people. Dedicated and professional. But so are we.

Nurse Ratched
Man oh man I love this one. I've been called this myself a time or two. Mostly when I was disagreeing with someone or insisting on a level of action that I thought was right. Not just that something be done to correct a situation but that EVERYTHING be done. And done now.
Here's the problem with this one. Disagreeing with situations that I don't understand or deem inappropriate is my job. Its a mandate handed to me by the nice people who give me my license. The same people who will take that license away if a patient comes to harm under my watch in a situation that they deem I should have had some control over.
How this attitude of responsibility gets translated into the oppressive, abusive, miserable control freak that is portrayed in the movie "one flew over the cuckoos nest" is beyond me.

Which Brings us to the point

The Naughty Nymphomaniac Nurse:

This one, as far as I can see is a combination of the sweet faced angel of mercy and the empty headed doctor's handmaiden. It's about the idea that nurses are caretakers and should therefore be care taking of every aspect of a patient's care. Including the sexual aspect. It's about the idea that  if a woman is touching a person's body there must be sex involved and she must want that. I've also read that it's about the idea that men when in ill health feel insecure and must use this stereotype to gain at least the illusion of control over the women in charge of his care. Now I don't know about that part. I'll leave it up to the men to talk about.  I feel it certainly has a component of misogyny. There could be an argument made that this is a continuation of the Madonna / whore ideology.
Just a quick note here. Nurses who sleep with their patients lose their jobs and licenses.
What I'll tell you is that this lovely little stereotype can cause your average nurse no end of trouble. I've heard some nursing students say that they might not introduce themselves as nurses when meeting new people for fear of this idea.
 I've personally had to deflect the wandering hands of more than one patient who subscribed to the idea of the nurse as a whore. I've had men tell me they don't date nurses because of this. I've had men want to date me assuming I'd sleep with them right away because I'm a nurse.
Here's a question for consideration: are there  nurses out there who will quash their inherent sexuality to avoid the label of the naughty nurse?  Are we Damned if we do, damned if we don't?

 I feel these stereotypes undermine us as professionals. We can't be taken seriously if  all we are is either empty headed or  sexual vessels or raging psychotics.

Which is a damned shame considering how much of the care of patients we are responsible for and therefore have insight  into. Insight that is used to craft policies that direct care and legislation.

So consider this, Internet. The next time you want to make a naughty nurse joke: out there someplace is a woman or man who had  to spend years in school studying  their brains out who is  working overtime in a place that may look down on them for trying to take time off while fighting tooth and nail for the rights of patients and to be taken seriously as a professional who may have to fight off patients who think they're there to "service" people while your smart ass makes a crack on twitter.

Soup Nazi

I make a mean pot of soup. When I was taking my Hotel / Restaurant diploma the Chef would usually put me in charge of soups and sauces. I USED to be able to make a mean hollandaise. I probably couldn't now.

Thankfully, however I have retained my not inconsiderable ability to make soup.

I use soup a little like medicine, I have soups for specific ailments. Here are a few with their back stories.

Cold Cracking Soup.

Several years ago I had the worst head cold I've ever had. I'm sure there was a stress component but none the less I was miserable. Didn't sleep for nearly two weeks.

One day I wandered down to the Organic Underground. This was a fantastic cafe that used to be run by a friend of mine. Great spot, I still miss it.

Anywho. The resident soup maker there, Shawn had made a pot of vegan curry potato soup. He encouraged me to try a bowl. My sinuses began to clear. Just a little, but enough that I could notice it.
I adapted his recipe to suit my personal tastes and some components of Ayurveda. This soup is intended to be vegan. I find it most helpful in head cold / chest cold mucous stuff. Not so good for stomach upset.

You need:
3 large sweet potatoes or yams
1 bag shredded carrots
1 500ml carton of organic Veg broth (cause if it's not organic they put all sorts of weird crap in there)
2 tbsp of yellow curry paste
2 cloves garlic, diced
1 piece of peeled ginger, thumb sized, diced

Peel and cube the sweet potatoes. Cook the curry paste, garlic, ginger  in some olive oil until they become fragrant. Add the potato cubes and carrots. Turn the potatoes and carrots in the spice mix until well coated. Add the carton of veg broth and boil until the sweet potato is cooked. Puree.

You may add extra ginger and garlic if you like. I usually crank them up until they are almost too much depending on the amount of mucous you have. This soup seems to have a sinus draining mucous thinning effect.

Bone Broth
This one is an old family recipe. I'm not sure where it came from. We just make it. We make it for people who have been ill, are weak and need to be "built up". I will many times give it to Nanny.

You need
 Beef marrow bones (I get these from the butcher or abattoir. The grocery store wants WAAYY too much for them.)
 1 500 ml Organic Beef broth (yes, organic. AGAIN)
2 onions chopped large.
a bag of baby carrots
 2 cloves garlic

Put the beef marrow bones, chopped onions, baby carrots and garlic on a baking sheet. Throw them in the oven at 350 until cooked. The marrow should look like fat inside the bones
 Pour it all (and any fat that accumulates) in a large pot.
Cover with cold broth
Boil, then reduce  to simmering for 30 min.
Pull the bones out of the pot with  a fork, put them on a plate and dig out any marrow from inside the bones that remains. Put the marrow back in the pot. Puree.

Potato Soup

This is another old family recipe. It's very good for an unhappy tummy. Sits well and rarely causes digestive upset. I serve it with buttered toast.

You need
2 large potatoes, peeled and cubed
A hand full of baby carrots.
butter
milk

Cook the cubes of potato and carrots in water until soft. Drain most of the water leaving approximately 1/3 of the total volume. Add butter and milk to the pot. Mash the potatoes until they are a consistency you like. Add more milk if the potatoes are too thick.

Cheaters Chicken Soup

Now I like chicken soup. I mean, really. Who doesn't What I don't want is to wait all day for it. So I created a cheater's way to make it FANTASTIC. This is great if a friend is sick and you want to help out.Good for General Colds and The Flu

You need:
I bbq chicken from the grocery store. (no, really)
1 500 ml carton of organic chicken broth (AGAIN)
frozen corn nib lets, about a cup
a hand full of dried spaghettini
two green onions, chopped.

Discombobulate the chicken. I mean like tear it all apart and cut it into bite sized pieces. White and dark meat too. Put the chicken in your soup pot. Cover it with the broth. Bring to a boil. Add the corn niblets. Bring back to a boil. Add the spaghettini  and cook until soft. Add the chopped green onion.

 Chili Con Carne

Now this is not a medicinal soup. But it rocks. This recipe has won awards. I didn't win the award mind you, the recipe was borrowed. But whatever. Good chili is good chili. This goes very well over a baked potato to make a whole meal.

You need:
A Texas sized Cast Iron Skillet. I'm sorry, it's just better this way
Three thick cut slices of pancetta (bacon is not the same...but in a pinch will do)
1lb lean ground beef (or venison if you prefer)
1 lb ground pork.
1 5oo ml can of fire roasted tomatoes
1 can kidney beans
1 can chickpeas
1 can navy beans
1 onion diced
2 cups dried mushroom pieces
2 cloves garlic
1 package non msg chili spice mix.(msg is just garbage, you can get chili spice mix in the organic section. I KNOW organic again)

ok, turn on the oven, yes the oven to 350. . Dice the onion and pancetta. Begin soaking the dried mushrooms in hot water. Brown the pancetta until crispy. take it out of the pan, leave the fat. Brown the onion. Brown the beef, then the pork. Drain all the meat. put the meat back in the pan. Add the garlic, and chili spices. Brown until the mix becomes fragrant. Add the soaking mushrooms WITH the water. Add the beans, and the tomatoes.
Throw the whole thing in the oven at 350 for an hour. If it's too thin, add some tomato paste. But not too much, the point of the chili is the meat and beans, not the tomatoes.
Very good over corn bread too!

the trouble with Retarded.

In the past two weeks, I've been exposed to two celebrities who were using the word retarded. One was using it as part of her comedy shtick one was using it to drum up attention for her chosen political candidate.

Now, I have some experience with the special needs community. I  work with special needs individuals, have for years. Also some of the people I love have special needs. So I've got me some opinions and reactions to the use of the word retarded.

I am, however a thinker. I do a lot of thinking.  Sometimes when I ought to be sleeping.

What's the trouble with calling someone retarded? It's just a word, right? It could be considered to be technically correct. A person with a physical or developmental delay does fit the Miriam Webster definition of retarded.

The problem, as I see it is the weight of the word. It's a label. It's no longer associated with the Miriam Webster definition. It now contains judgement.

It's limiting. Calling someone retarded defines them in your mind. They are retarded and that's all. It minimizes people.

I know this because I've been called retarded. A teacher in my life told my parents I was retarded and "people like you don't graduate high school"

That moment, when I was 8 defined me and my self view for years afterword. I was 27 before I realised that I do not, in fact have a developmental delay. Turns out, that woman was mean, just plain mean. As a child I did not want to interact with her and refused to answer her questions and she decided that meant I was delayed.

But the issue was hers. Cause I'm actually kinda smart.

I'm lucky.  I was able right my self perception and regain my confidence.

But what if I had actually had a delay? What if I was at the mercy of people who are like the two self serving individuals above? What if I couldn't speak to tell anybody what that label had done to my heart?

The results may well have been, and probably are horrifying.

Imagine if you will living in a place where you don't speak the language and every one moves quicker than you. Now some of these people don't like you and you don't know why. Because you don't speak the language. But you can feel the judgement. It's like a weight on your chest and you have no defence.

No defence as you struggle to do all the same things that others are doing. It's so easy for them. Maybe you feel sick alot. And the people are so mean.

Every single day is a monumental effort in this place where people don't like you.

As far as I'm concerned the people who live this struggle, with more often than not a sunny disposition deserve our respect for the efforts they must put out to exist in a world not kind to them.

 If we are smart, we will use the example of these special people on how to be grateful and live in the moment and feel joy and persevere..

If we are not smart we will use this word, this limiting small ignorant word to prop ourselves up on the backs of people who deserve better.

FASHION WEEK!!!!!

I have a friend named Christina. My friend Christina is lucky. Not the "hey I found a $10 bill on the ground" lucky. More like "I won a $1000 shopping spree at Gap" and "I won three tickets to Master Card World Fashion Week"
NO. KIDDING.
Fashion Week, in Toronto. With Girlfriends. It's like so very Sex and The City. Except I ain't Carrie, y'all!
As soon as I saw the tweet from Christina I called her. "Are you freaking kidding me?!?!?"
Apparently not, we were going to the first night of fashion week. Courtesy of Ceasarstone Canada! http://www.caesarstone.ca/en/Pages/default.aspx
Which, naturally is when the panic set in.
See, here's the thing Internet. Fashion does not come easily to me.
I can put an outfit together on a dummy in the store. No problem.
I can match accessories to outfits practically with my eyes closed.
But finding clothes to put on this body? Um.......yeah.
Here's the problem, Internet. I'm in between. I'm at the bottom end of plus sized and the top end of regular sized. Also, I lift people for a living and carry nephews whenever possible. So trying to find clothes to fit around my arms and shoulders is daunting. Now, I'm sure that there is a perfect website or store for these problems. So far I haven't found it.
So I get fashion anxiety. Just a little bit.
And apparently going to Fashion week makes this worse. I had no frame of reference. What does one wear?!?!
Panic.
I called my BFF for advice. She's been to fashion week, in Paris. She advised a simple black dress with some pop out colour and a great bag. Um...I don't have a GREAT bag for night. I have coach bags cause my sister loves me. But they're not night bags.
So my BFF lent me her Dior. SHUT UP!

So, I'm dressed, make up on, hair done, bag ready.
In the car with Christina and the always charming Kay.
On the 401, zooming to fashion week. Holt Renfrew! Pink Tartan! Pavoni!!!!!
Construction.
Late for Holt Renfrew.
 Don Valley Parking Lot.
Missing Holt Renfrew.
Skidding in to the Big Tent just as Holt Renfrew is about half way done.
Thankfully, John the rep for Caesarstone our sponsor is an amazing friendly man and was able to meet us and give us our passes. We were IN!

OMG!!!!!!
I was not the tallest woman in the room suddenly!!!
Booths by Mabelline, Essie, Caesarstone, the list goes on and and on!

Swag bags every time we turned around, filled with coupons and free samples and great magazines and catalogues.
The CaesarStone booth was particularly fantastic! Macaroons!!!!

On to the Pink Tartan Show! So exciting! Well dressed people milling about looking for their seats. I was struck by how friendly and polite they were. Not one rude glance in a crowded room full of people looking for their seats. Wow.

The Pink Tartan show was amazing. Lots of pale pink and pale mint green for Spring 2013. Pale mint is good. I'm not much of a pink girl. I couldn't get very many shots of the models, I was too busy gawking but here's one of the great looks!

http://pinktartan.com/

After Pink Tartan, a little break for frree wine samples, red or white and a free hot stone hand massage!!!! Wow! I could get used to this. Maybe I'll petition my boss for free hot stone hand massages at work!
On to the Pavoni Show.

I was totally amazed at how in just a 30 minute break the same runway could be transformed!
The show was everything it promised to be. Breathtaking dresses,

Crazy music, crowds of people

http://www.pavonicollection.com/home.html
Yards, and yards and yards of Tulle and I swear every bead in North America!
Too soon it was time to go home.
Totally tired.
Totally happy!
Thanks so much to Christina and Kay for inviting me and travelling with me! Thanks to Caesarstone for the tickets  and  thanks to MasterCard World Fashion week for the experience!