the trouble with Retarded.

In the past two weeks, I've been exposed to two celebrities who were using the word retarded. One was using it as part of her comedy shtick one was using it to drum up attention for her chosen political candidate.

Now, I have some experience with the special needs community. I  work with special needs individuals, have for years. Also some of the people I love have special needs. So I've got me some opinions and reactions to the use of the word retarded.

I am, however a thinker. I do a lot of thinking.  Sometimes when I ought to be sleeping.

What's the trouble with calling someone retarded? It's just a word, right? It could be considered to be technically correct. A person with a physical or developmental delay does fit the Miriam Webster definition of retarded.

The problem, as I see it is the weight of the word. It's a label. It's no longer associated with the Miriam Webster definition. It now contains judgement.

It's limiting. Calling someone retarded defines them in your mind. They are retarded and that's all. It minimizes people.

I know this because I've been called retarded. A teacher in my life told my parents I was retarded and "people like you don't graduate high school"

That moment, when I was 8 defined me and my self view for years afterword. I was 27 before I realised that I do not, in fact have a developmental delay. Turns out, that woman was mean, just plain mean. As a child I did not want to interact with her and refused to answer her questions and she decided that meant I was delayed.

But the issue was hers. Cause I'm actually kinda smart.

I'm lucky.  I was able right my self perception and regain my confidence.

But what if I had actually had a delay? What if I was at the mercy of people who are like the two self serving individuals above? What if I couldn't speak to tell anybody what that label had done to my heart?

The results may well have been, and probably are horrifying.

Imagine if you will living in a place where you don't speak the language and every one moves quicker than you. Now some of these people don't like you and you don't know why. Because you don't speak the language. But you can feel the judgement. It's like a weight on your chest and you have no defence.

No defence as you struggle to do all the same things that others are doing. It's so easy for them. Maybe you feel sick alot. And the people are so mean.

Every single day is a monumental effort in this place where people don't like you.

As far as I'm concerned the people who live this struggle, with more often than not a sunny disposition deserve our respect for the efforts they must put out to exist in a world not kind to them.

 If we are smart, we will use the example of these special people on how to be grateful and live in the moment and feel joy and persevere..

If we are not smart we will use this word, this limiting small ignorant word to prop ourselves up on the backs of people who deserve better.