Dear Steve;

Dear Steve;



You don't know me, and that's ok. You probably wouldn't like me anyway. I'm fine with that, I'm not too thrilled about you, either.

Here's why you won't like me Steve. I made a list. I'm a bit of a list maker.

I'm a Woman.
Yessir. It's true. It looks to me like you don't like women very much, Steve. You claim to have lost control over your caucus and are unable to curtail their anti abortion debate hoopla. Well, for a man who has exercised the most control over his caucus in Canadian history (some say it's draconian, but I'm not so sure about that) I don't buy that you've lost control. I think this is a calculated attempt to test the current political waters and see how much we women are willing to tolerate on this issue. I urge caution here, Steve. I really do. I don't know if you've noticed but angry Canadian women are a bit of a handful. We have long memories.
It also occurs to me that you don't like to support women who DO have babies. The current cuts to EI would make it very difficult for women who take maternal leave to get EI later if their jobs dry up. Which in this economy let's face it, is a real possibility.
I certainly don't feel like you have my back so to speak....you know. As a woman.

I'm a Canadian
Which I understand you are too. That's what I hear anyway. It seems odd to me though that a man born in this country would show such disrespect for it's name. I mean, replacing the name of the country with your own name is pretty disrespectful, don'tcha think? I just hate calling it the Harper Government. It doesn't have the same ring to it.
 My grandfather served in the Canadian military (not the Harper military, mind you) I have a great respect for our veterans. Which is another point we differ on. I just keep thinking that anyone who stands up for this country and chooses to leave it to fight should have whatever they need when they get home. This includes the funds for their relatives to bury them and extensive mental health care if it's required.

I'm a Socialist.
Dyed in the wool, sir. I love socialism. I may grumble about my taxes but I'd rather pay them and walk around happy knowing that they're helping people who are vulnerable. I have this odd theory, see. That the country that can count on each other can prosper together. That a society is judged on it's ability to take care of it's least powerful. Not it's most.
Now in fairness, I'm employed in health care, which in Canada is universal so I may be biased. Then again maybe I have a very good insight into what our tax dollars buy us. And what would be lost if we don't continue to take care of each other.

I'm a Conservationist.
From a long line of tree hugging hippies. No kidding. So I gotta tell you Steve, this removal of protection for our waterways at the same time an oil pipeline goes through throws alllll sorts of flags for me. Ok, they're actually air raid sirens.
I'm not so foolish as to think the Oil sands are going away. As the second largest reserve of oil on the planet, it's here to stay. I just think we need to be a little more cautious about how we pull the stuff outta the ground. I  mean, since the oil isn't going anywhere, we have the time to do this thing right. Not go at it like drunken frat boys. You  know, like we're doing right now.
I gotta tell you Steve, while I see the benefit of making sure we maximise our profit from the black gold I think it would be wise to ensure our continued use of the blue gold. You know, WATER. That substance that without which life on this planet as we know it would change. The stuff that the great lakes currently hold 21% of the world's portion of drinkable allotment.
You remember the Great Lakes, don't ya Steve? That's where you want to allow the pipe line to go. Right next to the greatest fresh system of water in North America. What could possibly go wrong?

I'm an Aunt
I know this one may confuse you.
That's cool.
I have 5 nephews. They're my boys. I get a little fierce if I think somebody is messing with them. I think you're messing with them, Steve.
I think if you are allowed to continue running rough shod over their country; their country is going to go from being one of the best places on earth to one of the worst.  We're already an international embarrassment. You've ruined our reputation on the international stage. You've taken the surplus our parents gave you and turned it into the debt my boys are going to have to pay for.
You're trying to tell them that there is so much in Canada to be afraid of, and that's simply not true. We don't need the super max prisons you're building and they don't need to be afraid of immigrants. They  also don't need to fear the Quebecois or the protesters.

About the only thing that should scare them in Canada (besides another NHL strike) is you, Steve.

Sincerely
Feminist, Socialist, Tree Hugging, Left wing Aunt Jen

the death of the Frienemy

I've been thinking long and hard about this and what I want is for the "frienemy" phenomenon to die a quick and painful death.

<sup>Now  I don't know how this plays out for men, or if they even bother but I can tell you how it usually plays out for women. You have a woman in your life whom you share things with who can be counted on to not really be happy for you and may say snide hurtful things during your happy times and may even sabotage you.


I'm sure, there are a multitude of deep psychological, sociological and even evolutionary reasons for this phenomenon. We could fill volumes on the insecurity that breeds this, the competition for resources and recognition.

Basically I call Bullshit on the whole thing.

In my humble opinion (and it's my blog so if you don't like my opinion there's the door) frienemies stem from jealousy, plain and simple.

Jealousy is a funny thing. Everybody gets it from time to time but not every body feels entitled to act upon it. I've certainly had my fair share but I've always seen it as my problem, not the problem of the person who incites it.

So I guess frienemies confuse me. They trip my logic switch. If you're somebody's friend, by definition you want what's good for them and are happy when they are happy. If you are their enemy you don't participate in their happy times. Never the two shall meet.

If you are jealous of your friend's fortune it's a signal to you that you want what they have in some form, but it's your problem not theirs.

The whole phenomenon feels like high school to me. Back stabbing, sabotage, snide remarks. It's the passive aggressive Olympics. Gold goes to the woman who can make her friend feel the worst at her happiest time.

As a feminist I have a problem with this. The world is a better place for women now than it has been, depending on where you live. But it could be better. In order for it to be better women have to stick together. Have each other's backs. Support each other for real. Not wait for opportunities to screw each other over. Any union rep will tell you that dividing your membership depletes your bargaining power.  A united group gets what they want.

How are we ever going to marshall our resources to create real progress for our daughters if this is the kind of silly childish behaviour we subscribe to?

Our daughters are watching us. Their media reflects what they are seeing. Gossip Girl, One tree hill, Internet bullying, the list goes on. They are learning to be hateful towards other women because that's what they see. They see it in us.

So I'm challenging women today. Deal with your jealousy like an adult please. See it for what it is. Your problem. Your insecurity. Not an excuse to jump on other women either aggressively or passive aggressively. If you decide you actually don't like the person you're dealing with. Don't pretend. Move on.

It's time to leave high school ladies.</sup>