Both sides of the Bedpan: a Nurse's experience as a patient.

I spend a lot of time wondering about my patient's perspectives and experiences. I feel it's the hall mark of a good health care provider to ensure that my patients feel comfortable with me and the processes they are involved in to the best of my ability.

My dedication comes from several sources. One, I have wanted to be in the health care field since I was a child. Two, I have friends/family who are heavily involved in the patient side of  health care and I get to hear their perspectives, worry and frustrations. I vow that my patients will never experience with me the things I have seen these people go through. Three I am customer service trained from my days in high end resorts where I was empowered by the management to find and fix guest issues.

The biggest view shaping though has come from my own experiences.

It has been said that the most effective doctors / nurses are those who have been sick, very sick at sometime in their lives. Now, I would never wish anyone ill but I have to say that I agree with this philosophy. I know what being ill has done for my practise.

I know very very well what it's like to know something is wrong with your body and not be able to get the people in charge of your health to take you seriously. I know the frustration, the exhaustion, the fear and the worry.

I know what it's like to be in an ER at three AM having been dragged there by a well meaning friend who was beside herself with worry only to be metaphorically handed my hat and shown the door.

I know that feeling despite being a 10 year veteran of the health care field. Despite my personal health record keeping, my ability to use the lingo and my very clear and concise and consistent reporting of my concerns.

I know the stunned rage of having a physician stand with unmitigated gall  and tell me they "empathise with my pain" and my diagnosis is their "best guess" while consistently avoiding giving  me the definitive diagnostics I ask for or the dignity of talking to me in a meaningful way about my future.

I know what it's like to start to wonder if I'm crazy because if the doctors and the nurses and the diagnostics say I'm fine, the pain I'm experiencing must be psychosomatic. That is a terrifying moment.

I also know that moment when somebody, in a hospital not in my home town looks me in the face and asks me what my expectations are. That moment when I am told that indeed, I'm not crazy. There's a problem here and we're going to get to the bottom of it.

That sun came out from behind the clouds moment when I have in front of me a  person who listens to me, takes me seriously and says "here's the plan, here's the time line, here's what I expect to find and here's what we're going to do about it if we find it."

That is the moment when I cried.

It took me three years to get that moment.

Three years of using my professional knowledge to record and report my issues. Three years of talking the lingo, asking the questions, self advocating and trying to partner.

The point of this story is this.....if it takes ME three years of talking and asking and hoping and waiting while in pain with all my clinical knowledge and skills WHAT is happening to patients without these skills and knowledge?

What is happening to patients who are cowed by the health care system? Who think that doctors and nurses are the be all and end all?

How badly are we failing people by not giving them the tools to partner in their own care? How many cracks are there to fall through?

What would happen if we asked every SINGLE patient what their expectations are? If we gave them the plan, and told them the expected outcomes? What if we ended every patient interaction with the phrase I was taught in resort industry: "do you have any questions, comments or concerns? Have we covered everything you needed covered today?"

One simple phrase, backed by a change in the basic philosophy of care can, if not alter outcomes significantly alter experiences.

Don't nobody look good on surgery day....but I was happy as all get out to finally have the procedure.