For the Boys.

I did  a blog a while back on the fact that Adulthood is not what I expected it to be.

Part of that blog lamented a lack of a life map. I like maps, they tell you how to get places.

But I suppose that since everybody's destination is soooo very different a map would not be practical. I mean, maps don't always allow for side trips and exploring.

So what I think is more suitable are guidelines. Life Guidelines.

So, this list ( I also like lists) is for my boys.

Not that their parents won't teach them this stuff, they probably will. This is a written list for them to refer to.

Negotiate:
Unless we're talking about baths, homework or supper. There is no negotiation in supper. You just eat it. Vegetables too. Other than that negotiation is the way to go in life. You do NOT have to accept every thing as is. Negotiate yourself a pay rate, a raise, a lower interest rate, a schedule, an upgrade, more time or less time.
You have nothing to lose by asking for what you want. You have very little chance of getting it if you DON'T ask.

ASK QUESTIONS:
Asking questions is not stupid, in fact only stupid people never ask. So sayeth Aunt Jen. You ask any time you don't understand what's going on, what your responsibilities are, what you can expect out of a situation and if you don't understand the words being used. You ask UNTIL you understand. Don't let anybody tell you that you have no right to ask questions. They're lying to you. Don't agree to anything until you understand what's what.

Not everything that's shiny is worth having:
This includes toys and people. It's very easy to be fooled by shine. Slow down, look deeper. Shiny things aren't always durable things. Shiny things aren't always things you can count on. Sometimes they are but not every time. You don't need to have EVERYTHING that shines.
Now this is a tricky one. Some adults don't know this one...they spend a lot of time chasing the newest, shiniest thing they see. This almost never goes well.

Don't lie: 
You're only as good as your word. I don't care what the world tells you about qualifications, and connections and skills. Many many times the decision about who gets the raise, the promotion, the opportunity or the prize comes down to your character. If people can't trust you they won't give you important things. Like their money, their business or their hearts.

Budget:
It's boring and restrictive but do it anyway. If you don't know how...find somebody who does.

You don't need an excuse:
If you are in a situation or with a person and you don't feel comfortable. Don't wait for "the right time" or a reason to get out. Just get out. Just stand up and walk away. You have a set of instincts that are designed to keep you safe. Listen to them. They may not always make sense but it's better to feel slightly foolish than wish to hell you had listened to your instincts.

Failure is not Failure:
The only failure is to quit trying. Failure will teach you more than success. Failure doesn't mean you are a bad person or stupid or a loser. It means you're human and have the chance to learn something.

Enjoy People who are Different:
If everybody was the same that would be HORRIBLE. We need different kinds of people to be able to learn new things, look at problems from a different perspective and have to opportunity to enjoy getting to know someone.

Everybody has feelings. Everybody:
Even if they are mean, or different. They have feelings. Try not to hurt feelings if you can help it. But don't put up with anybody hurting yours either.